I don't know what it is. The crazy people always try to fuck with me when I am sober... If they were smart they would do it while I'm drunk so I would forget in the morning but Noooo...
That being said... Recently I decided to go out for a cocktail with a few of my friends... We were all having a great ol' time shaking out groove thang on the dance floor... - Until Nature Called. "Quick, I need to go tinkle... This vodka is no joke tonight." I said. - We all decided to go to the restrooms together.
After trying pushing my way past all the floozies eye raping me and the one girl who tried to grab my crotch; however grabbed my testicle (Which hurt like hell mind you)-We finally made it to the bathrooms.
I went into the male bathrooms and gave my friend my drink to hold then she would go into the ladies bathroom and I would do the same.
After I finish using the bathroom (And yes I washed my hands) I go out and walk over to the ladies bathroom with my friend. - It was an out door venue so I was standing on the grassy area outside the bathrooms waiting for her to be finished. - Then I spotted a mutual friend and called her over so we were talking saying our hello's etc. When out of the blue comes 'Mr. Crazy'.
PAUSE - LET ME SET THE SCENE...
Me & a girl talking laughing... taking pics together with our phones... - INNOCENT
and then here comes Mr. Crazy who is a security guard screaming to me "I'M CALLING THE COPS...YOUR OVER HERE SMOKING WEED!!!"
OK. Pause. - Firstly I do not smoke. Secondly I don't have a lighter, a blunt nor a cigarette in my hand yet I am smoking weed?! - I can't even smell weed in the area.
In any event I replied.
"Excuse me... Who are you?" - He goes on telling me how I am smoking weed and he is calling the cops on me and I am getting banned from the establishment for three years and a whole bunch of other stuff... (clearly he started sounding like Charlie Browns teacher - Womp Womp Womp Womp) I proceeded to tell him Call the cops... I will wait until they come. I told him matter of fact... I will call them for you... Save your minutes on your prepaid phone...
After about 5 minutes of arguing my friend emerges from the restroom - Yeah 5 minutes! what she was doing I don't know... She walks over to us and is dumbfounded about what is going on. - Shes looking at me like 'what the hell is going on!'
I politely told the security guy "I am done arguing with you. Good night." and walked away.
Clearly I hadn't had enough vodka... Because I am known to throw drinks, fuck people off give face and walk away... But I was polite, cool and calm.
The next day I thought to myself... That man was out of order... I called the establishment. Spoke to the security manager and gave him a little piece of my mind also.
Haven't seen the man doing security there since... Oh well... Not to mention I received a full apology letter and was invited for complimentry cocktails one evening. I have been given VIP entry for the rest of the summer season and no cover charge.
**Giggles**
-NOW WHO WAS SMOKING WEED MR?!-
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Over & Out...
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