Give Me My Chicken....

I keep getting requests to write another blog... But I just never have time to... Between Pouring my vodka and sipping it.... there just isn't enough time; and I dont type while sipping I had to learn the hard way last time...

In any event... I have decided to write a quick little blog for you all;

Once upon a time; but not too long ago... A homeless man (A.K.A - A Bum) approached me as i was entering a fast food restaurant. **Let me set the scene** Its me. A bum. and a dark street. - I am intimidated by bums as it is... So as he approached me I got a little nervous that he would touch me... As he was walking towards me I instantly said "Please Mr. Sir. Dont touch me you can have all the cash on me. I beg you not to touch me." He apparently thought this was funny and smiled at me with all 3 of his teeth showing. He asked "Would you please help me. I havent eaten all day I just need a bite to eat"

I was in a good mood so I decided to buy him some food. I collect my food and then order some chicken and rice for him and had them bag it. At this point I feel pretty damn good about myself... Buying a bum some food... So I take it to him - He attempted to reach for it I *Screamed* "Wait! - I put it on the wall and said; ok there you go". Now I think Ive done my good deed for the day... As I start to walk away... He said "Is this chicken?" - Yes I replied - He continued... "I dont like chicken..do you mind getting me something else?"

**PAUSE**

Did this BUM just tell me he doesnt like chicken and he wants something else - after i went out of my way and purchased it for him.

"Im sorry Mr. Sir; I am in a rush and if you dont like chicken give it back and I will give to to someone who is more appreciative."
Then he proceeded to tell me no he will give it to someone else...

"NO GIVE ME MY CHICKEN" I demanded. - I reached for the bag on the wall and he snatched it up really quick. At this point we both have a hand on the bag. Im pulling it towards me he is pulling it towards him. Its like a tug-o-war over a bag of chicken. By this time Im getting angry. Im fighting a bum for damn chicken. I considered calling 911 but then I thought how silly would that sound... "Help quick the bum is stealing my chicken" - So I decided to be a bitch. I pulled it really hard; the bag ripped, and the chicken fell out and hit the floor... I was satisfied. Ha. At least you arnt getting it now - I thought to myself as I walked away.

As I walked up to my car (after using hand sanitizer) I turned back to look at the ungrateful bum and DO YOU KNOW HE PICKED UP THE CHICKEN and started eating it.

I was furious. I was fighting over chicken - let alone with a bum. And then he picked it up and started eating it. I had every mind to go over there and smack the chicken out of his hand and throw it in the sand. As a matter of fact... Thats what I will do...

I walked back over to him and as I approached him he shouted something... And like 3 other bums came out of the wood works. I felt like one of those white girls in a horror film. I was overcome with fear. They were like the Zombies from the thriller video... I thought they were going to kill me. I thought to myself.

Davon... Chicken or Your life...

I hope he enjoyed that chicken....